April 2010
77 posts
Thank you Atkins diet, I feel awful and smell...
Fail.
Apr 30th
4 notes
Apr 29th
6 notes
Apr 29th
4,558 notes
3 tags
Apr 29th
1 tag
“Panting I … was in … the woods… and … saw your … van.”
– Clare, after dashing 100 yards and rushing out of the bushes towards a confused delivery driver. I just really wished she had then said oh the parcels not for me and walked off for full effect, sigh.
Apr 28th
3 notes
Apr 27th
3 tags
Apr 27th
1 tag
Apr 26th
7 tags
Apr 26th
Is off to hospital for an MRI scan
Because what better way is there to celebrate the start your week off work…
Apr 26th
1 tag
Apr 25th
6 notes
1 tag
Apr 25th
Really wish I had a cat right now.
At least I wouldn’t be pestered every 12 seconds for: Walk, Treat, Fuss, did I mention walk…
Apr 25th
Apr 24th
The decline of society...
Me: *yawn*
Clare: Oh man, I still haven't yawn raped you.
Me: Thank God.
Clare: *Spends next 2 minutes attempting to make me yawn*
...
Apr 23rd
Apr 22nd
4 tags
Apr 21st
10 notes
1 tag
Apr 21st
Wednesday mostly sponsored by standing in dog pee...
Still makes a change from clare standing in it.
Apr 21st
Apr 20th
I've just created my own circle of hell
It’s called “ionisation probe timing analysis” Who wants in? No? don’t blame you. These monkeys need a larger whip. No. Wait, I need a larger whip for these monkeys. I need to stop drinking coffee. 
Apr 20th
bluecrab asked: What is the significance of your name?
Apr 20th
11 notes
1 tag
Apr 20th
Apr 19th
2 notes
Apr 19th
The greenhouse
Clare: Why haven't my seeds grown yet?
Me: Because you only planted them today.
Clare: Buuuuuuuut... *pause* why haven't they grown yeeeeet????
Me: *Sigh*
Apr 18th
Cook-book misprint costs Australian publishers... →
Yes I think I shall have some freshly ground black people along with my powdered human horn…
Apr 18th
Apr 18th
Apr 18th
“Stop trying to lick me”
– Clare, whilst getting her passport photo done, in my defence I did NOTHING honest guvna
Apr 17th
Apr 17th
Apr 16th
Apr 16th
Apr 16th
On hold to Orange business customer support
It’s playing JLS. Life doesn’t get any better worse than this. Oh they’ve cut me off. I stand corrected.
Apr 16th
4 tags
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
2 tags
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
7 notes
Apr 14th
Apr 14th
Apr 14th
1 tag
Apr 14th
2 tags
Apr 13th
No I don't enjoy watching you talk with your mouth...
Thank you please.
Apr 13th
Apr 12th
Now I see why robots are better company than...
Or goats.
Apr 12th
Thank you random pub dweller but no I really don't...
And they are ugly. Wait, I shouldn’t have told you that should I? No? Bugger.
Apr 12th